You can be or feel ugly, skinny, fat, short, tall, average, and even stupid, but if you have self confidence, you will overcome and adapt whether shortcomings are self perceptions or others' initial perceptions of you.
That said, don't abuse this superpower, because being an asshole is the real ugly.
Wow this comment section is kinda scary if you think to hard about it, but as a man it’s not dangerous for me personally as I’m not dating men so it’s also kinda entertaining to see all the salt that gets thrown around.
Have you tried dating sites? I can't even get "ugly" women to respond to me so they must have "better options" reaching out to them or I really am just that undesirable lol
Not quite… 16k on a Skyrim video I made when I was in my 20’s where I just spend 15 minutes calling a dude on the TES forums dumb. The comments keep equating me to Jonah Hill, specifically his character from Superbad.
I used to work with two guys I called “Tall Todd” and “Tall Paul”. Both were really smart and part of our IT department. Both in shape-ish, skinny, very tall.
Paul was conventionally hot - his side job was modeling, he made money at it and I did once unexpectedly see him on a national advertisement. Hot, you understand? He was nice, friendly, I wasn’t attracted to him but could see he was physically really good looking, and was outgoing and pleasant, creative guy, good Halloween costumes.
Tall Todd wasn’t good looking like that, and had the additional baggage of being named Todd, but had this way of existing in the world that was just so comfortable and made you feel comfortable. I think when people say confidence this is what they mean - not cockiness but this self acceptance. He was just so attractive without being physically attractive - he wasn’t ugly exactly but unremarkable in looks. But goodness he was attractive in real life. Magnetic.
I do not know how people get that sort of confidence but it’s not by being really good looking.
You get that kind of confidence by not giving a shit about what other people think in terms of your physical attractiveness. I don’t think I’m especially good looking. I also couldn’t give less of a shit. Which is why I have the confidence to have the facial hair of a 19th century president. Because a mutton chops beard is fucking awesome. I’m married, but I wouldn’t even care if I was single. I’m keeping my mutton chops.
Maybe the kind of man they want to date is a man that isn’t an asshole. Especially not one who sees a woman who is not conventionally attractive and thinks, “yeah, I could fuck that.”
You know, there’s a simple solution to that, which women in the past had no trouble understanding: just put sex off the table until there’s a ring on your finger. That’s it. That’ll immediately eliminate any guy who’s only looking to up his notch count, as long as you actually stick to it and don’t just use it as a fake excuse to eliminate the weaklings.
Just thinking out loud, of course. I would not dream of telling what to do with their bodies.
Perhaps, but it’s also not AS important as many people make it out to be. At least if you’re looking for a life partner, that is, not just a sex partner. After all, you’re gonna end up spending a LOT of time with that person not having sex.
But honestly, at some point this whole society is gonna have to collectively go to couple’s therapy or something in order to fix their shit. Or maybe that’s already happening, as I’ve seen at least a couple of TV shows where they send a bunch of good looking guys and girls in their 20s and 30s to a tropical island where they’re allowed to do anything except have sex, and the couple who ends up in the best relationship wins the grand prize.
I’m not gonna judge anyone for fucking around in their teens or early 20s, but let’s be honest, at some point you gotta grow out of that and realize there’s more to life than the bedroom. And after you’ve a couple rounds there you probably know pretty well what you like and don’t like, and you don’t need to test drive every single woman you meet before deciding whether she’s worth the time to try and have a relationship first.
There’s a Reddit community I used to visit now and then that was for ugly people. It was so toxic and hateful. These people literally believe that they can never be happy or have a relationship because they think they’re ugly - it’s their entire identity. I worry that many outcasts fall into this trap during their formative years and it warps their view of the world like the gentleman in the video.
I think that once they get out into the real world, most folks find that looks don’t matter as much as lifestyle, personality, and compatible morals.
I didn’t think I was ugly because I thought I was ugly. I thought I was ugly because no one wanted anything to do with me for reasons I couldn’t comprehend.
I also noticed how “pretty” people didn’t have anywhere near as hard of a time socializing as I did. They were allowed to have bad personalities. Even if I was as kind and helpful as I could possibly be I’d never be treated the same way as a “pretty” person would.
The thing to focus on is that there are many different kinds of people in the world. I grew up with a disability, and it didn’t take me long to figure out that there are people you’ll meet who just hate you for not being what they consider to be “normal.” There’s nothing you can do - they’re just going to hate you. But, I eventually found that there are also people who would never dream of doing such a thing, and will treat you neutrally until they get to know you, and will treat you well after that if you treat them well.
Yes, the assholes of the world will always be there, and they’ll make you feel like shit, but the more you can dismiss them as simply being judgemental assholes who know nothing about you, the more you’ll be able to see all the people who will treat you fairly. Sure, if you’ve got a terrible personality, then even those people will want to have nothing to do with you, but if you control the things you can control, there are a lot of people in the world who will see that and think well of you for it.
Honestly, most "ugly" people can be reasonably attractive if they get in shape, eat healthily (especially in a way that clears up their skin) and style themselves (clothes, hair, etc) in a way that suits them. Plus finding good angles and lighting for photos/videos, and building up some confidence and charisma for in-person interactions. Those things aren't necessarily easy and they take patience and commitment, but most people can easily go up a few points on an attractiveness/10 scale if they manage them.
Yeah, he looks like an average nerdy type guy. Not the best but also not the worst thing in the world. There's plenty of people who are into that type.
