There’s no such thing as consensual slavery, so I’m gonna go with no. You have to draw the line somewhere, and drawing the line at forcing other people to do things seems like a good place to draw the line.
Meet Sherlock. He's about 1½ years old and weighs 70 pounds. This guy spent two hours bouncing all over the four-acre dog park, and still wanted to play once we got home....
Body positivity is such a strange concept to me. There's efforts to reclaim words while simultaneously calling them bad if used as an insult. Ideally, people wouldn't be offended by someone describing their body with common descriptors, but socially there is so much value attributed to certain body types that it's almost...
I think that “championing body positivity” for any class of adult humans is undignified. I think that doing a special extra thing for people in order to reverse the polarity of a judgment about that aspect of them is cruelly mocking them for that aspect of them.
Perhaps there’s something about that short guy that’s actually awesome, and doesn’t require childish lies and role-playing to communicate.
If someone called me “small dick king” I would hate them forever, despite whatever positive intentions they might have had when they said it. Do not make my weakness the key point of my persona, even if you include that awkward attempt at “positivifying” it. Just call me “Intensely Human, master wordsmith”
or something that’s actually positive. Don’t treat me like I’m a five year old, using keywords to remap my negative qualities into positive ones.
The whole idea of using a term, that’s special to short men, to “champion” (verbing nouns is horrible) body positivity in short men, makes me feel nauseous.
If we want to respect short men, let’s do so in action, not in word choice.
I work with a person that went presented with a problem, works through it and arrives at the wrong solution. When I have them show me the steps they took, it seems like they interpret things incorrectly. This isn't a language barrier, and it's not like they aren't reading what someone wrote....
I’m very aware that people have different skills and limitations and adjust accordingly. I have done a lot, including helping organize tasks, reviewing issues when they come up, setting goals, positive reinforcement, asking how they want me to change to help them further, suggesting learning opportunities, suggesting social interaction opportunities…
One thing you have not mentioned trying is encouraging others in the organization to replace the words “this” and “that” with the actual referent in their communications.
For example the email that said “send this to them”, could say “send the product to them”.
Disambiguating the words “this” and “that” in communication seem like a much more direct path to avoiding this problem than the steps you described.
You don’t think your writing style affects your workplace? If you are indeed the manager, you are tasked, among other things, with establishing the culture of the team.
It may be that your comms skills are good enough for most people but not for this person. One option you have is to improve them even further so that it goes beyond being sufficient for the normal people, and also becomes sufficient for this person.
For example, I have never had my instructions misinterpreted. I am autistic. In my experience, both autistics and neurotypicals tend to interpret my instructions with zero difficulty.
I am saying this to indicate that it is possible to use language in a way that works even for the people who need extra precision.
In the scenario you described, the use of the word “this” in the “send this to them” instruction was a predictable failure point in the communication.
Eliminating that word from that communication would have prevented this issue.
If you want to change the individual, have them do significant working memory training. If you want to solve the problem, consider establishing and enforcing a higher level of disambiguity in office communications.
Thank you! As an autistic person, I am serious in saying that your practice with your students is honestly the most helpful thing I’ve ever heard of a person doing for autistic people.
That is precisely what we most need: clear communication from others. With that, we can earn our own way. But we do need that.
I've seen a lot of people on here be teased for difficulty expressing themselves. Either people complain "you're using big person words to describe mundane things" when they're aiming for precision or "woah, we don't need that damn wall of text" when they're aiming for clarity. It's like people just want to complain.
When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years....
In 2003 I watched the Exorcist movie that came out. It freaked me out so much my pupils dilated enormously like I was tripping, and then they stayed dilated for three days afterward.
I couldn’t be alone at night for over a week so my girlfriend came and stayed with me to keep the monsters away.
Given I’ve been described as a right with conspiracy theorist for saying that capitalist countries experience less starvation than socialist ones, I’m going to have to take this assessment with a grain of salt.
Maybe it’s more like right wingers in general are coming back in droves after finding an online community that won’t ban them for their political affiliation.
It’s not unnecessary. It’s a signal that you need to figure out that moment more deeply. It’s a signal telling you that at least one, possibly more, of the particular behavioral stupidities that led to the embarrassing situation hasn’t yet been figured out and changed.
The way to make the cringe go away is to go back and revisit the situation in detail, and analyze exactly what decisions you made incorrectly that led to it.
For example, I had a situation from fifteen years ago, with my ex girlfriend, involving sex with another guy while we were on a break. Every time I would think of that it would hurt so bad.
I took the above advice and revisited in tons of detail, and analyzed my own mistakes in the scenario. During this analysis I realized that my problem wasn’t the sex; it was the lying about the sex. I should have stopped pursuing her not because she had sex with someone else (which she had the right to do while we were broken up), but I should have stopped pursuing her right then and there because she lied about the sex.
Once I got that new understanding, that moment where I realized she’d just tucked that guy doesn’t hurt in my memory like it did before. Now it’s just a blank, flat, monotone part of my history, similar to “I was born in XXXX year and XXXX city”. It’s just basic data, not a highly charged moment of my past.
You don’t get cringe with all your embarrassing memories. There’s some stuff you did that was super embarrassing that’s just part of your early story, and doesn’t move your energy when you remember it. But certain memories — the ones with a significant emotional jolt upon recall — are like knots that need to be unraveled, and will continue to tug at the fabric of your everyday emotion until you do.
No it’s part of a deeper pattern. Go in with don’t know mind. Recreate the whole scene in writing in as much detail as you remember. Trust me there’s something underneath it.
Except you have no idea how other people are seeing the auroras.
My own color vision got more vivid when I started meditating, and psychedelics have often given me hyper intense color perception. Sometimes even just sitting and imagining colors will open up new levels of vividness even in my imagination.
Speaking of linux and living alone, the times I’ve managed to solve tech problems without the internet, using only documentation, have always made me feel like a badass
There should be some kind of mechanic where you can put the thing somewhere and retrieve it later. Sort of like a ender chest, but with multiple, mutually-exclusive repositories.
For example, you could sell the item to a particular NPC, and someone else from the NPC’s same guild in a different city might have the item, but only if you ask about unusual items. “Oh yeah I bought this the other day from my counterpart in Lombard: <the item you sold>”
Some way to free up inventory, and take a chance the item will still be in your world later.
Set up a standing breakfast appointment with him every Saturday morning. The best way to help out a friend who’s going through something hard is to be there consistently. If you can consistently meet with him, it will provide a point of stability in his life.
I tried to give my old Wii and games to my 11 year old son, he refused them. ( lemmy.world )
Oh well. I’ll just leave it at that.
Trump demands drug test for Biden ahead of first debate ( thehill.com )
Former President Trump said he wants President Biden to be drug-tested before their first debate....
Was banning human slavery an authoritarian decision?
Obviously it was a good thing that it was banned, but I'm just wondering if it would technically be considered authoritarian....
Here's my dude. I have no idea what he is. ( lemmy.world )
Meet Sherlock. He's about 1½ years old and weighs 70 pounds. This guy spent two hours bouncing all over the four-acre dog park, and still wanted to play once we got home....
Maine Cybertruck Owner Sad Everyone Hates His Truck ( jalopnik.com )
Why do men call their father their "old man", but their "old lady" is their wife?
What do you think of the term "short king" as a term that's supposed to champion body positivity for men?
Body positivity is such a strange concept to me. There's efforts to reclaim words while simultaneously calling them bad if used as an insult. Ideally, people wouldn't be offended by someone describing their body with common descriptors, but socially there is so much value attributed to certain body types that it's almost...
Is it ever okay to generalize about people? why or why not?
How to work with someone that regularly arrives as the wrong answer?
I work with a person that went presented with a problem, works through it and arrives at the wrong solution. When I have them show me the steps they took, it seems like they interpret things incorrectly. This isn't a language barrier, and it's not like they aren't reading what someone wrote....
When should you in fact: Ask to speak to a manager?
The Offspring, The Beastie Boys, Van Halen w/DLR, and the B52s. Are there other bands that rock, but are often silly/goofy and funny?
What's your most unpopular opinion about music ?
For me : Trippie Redd's "!" Is actually a great album
What reading style do you consider more tedious to read, A) short, concise, and precise, but using non-layperson vocabulary, B) using layperson vocabulary, but it's longer, drawn out, and not precise?
I've seen a lot of people on here be teased for difficulty expressing themselves. Either people complain "you're using big person words to describe mundane things" when they're aiming for precision or "woah, we don't need that damn wall of text" when they're aiming for clarity. It's like people just want to complain.
Alternative to bad parental advice: "Stand up to bullies"?
When growing up my parents taught me to stand up to bullies. (We're talking about verbal abuse and manipulation, not physical bullying.) Following that advice as a kid led to mixed results yet it's stuck with me into my adult years....
Gabe Newell, the Man Behind Steam, Is Working on a Brain-Computer Interface ( futurism.com )
What horror story/movie/game/whatever terrifies you even though it's fictional?
"X": Far-right conspiracy theorists have returned in droves after Elon Musk took over the former Twitter, new study says ( mashable.com )
Archived link....
11 May 2024 ( sh.itjust.works )
Parishioners Report Priest for Saying Jesus Died With Erection ( www.thedailybeast.com )
Hey Evolution! You know that involuntary flinch I do when I think of embarrassing things in my past, sometimes accompanied by a groan?
Yeah, that's unnecessary. Let's start doing humans without that.
Truth ( lemmy.nowsci.com )
Edit...
Lemmy: Linux is my boyfriend ( i.ibb.co )
Never Forget ( mander.xyz )
Anon has a realization ( sh.itjust.works )
224 Injured After Glitchy Diabetes App Drains Insulin Pump Batteries ( gizmodo.com )
Is any body able to provide some advice to help my friend through a bad patch?
So I’m a bit of a degenerate but making better choices lately and sort of getting things on track....