What are your best intrusive ads ideas?

If your job was to come up with greater enshittification for society, what would you do?

My ideas:

  1. Rental apartments where every wall has a screen with ads 24/7. You can pay cheaper rent to live with ads in every wall or you can pay a monthly subscription to turn off the ads (you don't get to use the screens for anything else tho). After people get used to it we can start adding a little bit of ads even for the subscription users, just a little less.

  2. Movie theaters. This one is obvious, why did anyone think it was ok to give people access to uninterrupted movies just because they paid a couple bucks? We should include some ads in the middle of movies in the cinema duh.

  3. Water and electricity. Private utility providers should be able to require you to watch a certain amount of ads on their apps in order to deliver their services to you every month (you still also pay normally ofc).

  4. Alarm clocks. Smartphones should delete the option to pick a custom sound for alarm and instead wake you up with loud ads. Installing any custom alarm app should require root and we should lobby government to ban devices with alarm clocks which are not smart.

  5. Unified ad-watching score. Similar to credit score, you will gain points by not skipping ads, having the selfie camera turned on while watching an ad (to make sure you looking), having the microphone on to make sure it isn't muted, etc. Every platform contributes to your score. They can use your ad-watching score to give you benefits or punish you as they please.

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

You've heard of the ad-financed television; here comes the ad-financed phone! Wanna turn it on? Just watch a 30-second ad and it'll boot straight up, still better than your old phone, eh? Wanna place a call? That'll be a 2-minute ad (emergency calls require longer ads since they're more important).

But the best thing: It's 100% free*, only thing you have to do is agree to our insanely long EULA!

(Not available in the European Union due to their boring laws)

Donebrach ,
@Donebrach@lemmy.world avatar

Quit crowdsourcing your goddamn school assignments.

inspxtr ,

Lol ads that can be engineered into DNA, so that they can be passed down for generations.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

We could end up engineering birth marks with arbitrary shapes like the Nike logo which may be passed on to offspring

FireWire400 ,
@FireWire400@lemmy.world avatar

I bet someone will find a way to do that with CRISPR CAS-9...

SpaceCowboy ,
@SpaceCowboy@lemmy.ca avatar

Give a discount on food purchases so long as people agree to having every purchase tracked abd their data sold to marketing companies so they can figure out how to manipulate people into buying more shit they don't need.

People's food purchases are already scanned in before they buy them, so all that's needed is to get people to scan in some kind of card to connect their purchases to their identity. A small discount can be offered so people will fill out a form connecting their identity to the card and then every time they scan the card with their purchases we can track everything they buy forever.

Oh wait, that's actually already commonplace.,

dmegatool ,
@dmegatool@lemmy.ca avatar

This guy ads

crozilla ,

Every marketing executive:
(taking notes)

Railing5132 ,

Are you kidding? OP is getting us to write their Master's thesis in Marketing right now!

A_Chilean_Cyborg ,
@A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl avatar

Regulatory bodies, save us!

halfeatenpotato ,

Stop this thread, and burn it with fire.

dutchkimble ,

The movie thing happens in India since ages ago, they call it intervals. Tons of ads before a movie starts and during the interval. Nice for a pee break and to buy snacks, but they obviously overdo it, movies never start on time, and the whole experience is shitty.

mudeth ,

For some context, it's because Indian movies were conventionally much longer in length (2.5 to 3 hours). Movies are written to have a cliffhanger at the interval, so much so that it's sometimes referred to as a meta joke.

Jimmyeatsausage ,

Per-swipe ads on phones. Free tier: every 5 swipes, regardless of app, full screen unskippable ads (content saved to devices locally so airplane mode doesn't stop it). Then you pay more to increase the number of swipes you get between ads.

GreatDong3000 OP ,

Great idea. We can also set a timer for the wifi on your phone to be disconnected automatically and you have to watch an ad before the time runs out to postphone it.

HurlingDurling ,
@HurlingDurling@lemmy.world avatar

If this is the path of society, I'll go live off nature completely off grid.

Ibaudia , (edited )
@Ibaudia@lemmy.world avatar

If any of these become a reality I am fully prepared and willing to commit acts of-

[removed by moderator]

ActionHank , (edited )

I would auction shelf space at my mega chain grocery store to large brands. The highest bidder would have the opportunity to buy up all the shelf space in order to bury any potential competition. The bidder could create 100s of different labels of essentially the same goddamn product, in order to maintain the illusion of choice, maximize consumer confusion, and thus maximize the time a customer spends thinking about the shelf-dominant brand, for some otherwise dead-simple purchase, such as toothpaste.

LemmyFeed ,

Ummm I think they already do this...

lazylion_ca ,

Cineplex movie theaters in Canada have ads in the app you use to watch trailers and buy tickets.

lazylion_ca ,

Put ads for Twinkies on your can of Coke.

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