Almost 25 years with my girlfriend

I am not sure how to commemorate with a present. I talked about it, but she said last year can't get better.

Last year I said I was going for bird feed and groceries, came home with a bottle of wine, bonbons and a big ass vase filled with 24 flowers and presented the gifts in stages 'ooh yeah forgot this one'. She was already happy with the choco.

One hand shopping bag, other arm vase and flowers because it did not fit in a bag walking home on icy pavement, I don't have a driver license so had to tread carefully, could have broken the vase, my legs and neck.

Maybe I'll finally go on my knees and ask her to marry? We argue sometimes who should propose. I just don't want to jinx our relationship.

Platypus ,

I envy you.

general_kitten ,

If i was in that position I would try to make a nice dinner and if i would give a gift it would be something unexpected and unconventional. Last gift i gave was a handful of whole walnuts(we both dont have a nutcracker). You could do the "forgot this one thing" but start with something cheap and unexpected, something what makes her laugh and also think "why the hell would give this to me"

If you want to marry you could do the same but start with a particularly nice looking pebble

MooseTheDog ,

Why propose? If it was really the goal, wouldn't it have happened already. Honestly sounds like you're already married tbh.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

You are right, it wouldn’t add anything really to our relationship, being married has some minor benifits though and in our town we can do it for free.

MooseTheDog ,

btw, your relationship seems unique and honestly inspiring. I wish you the best

Yelena ,

You should be the one to propose! It sounds like you're both ready for that step, and I bet your partner will be over the moon. Congrats in advance!

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

Thank you, I appreciate it.

The_Che_Banana ,
@The_Che_Banana@beehaw.org avatar

Congratulations!
You should get her the Spanish Inquisition... nobody expects that!

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

Hihih, she would like that, she is from Portuguese descent and will hit them with the comfy chair.

shinigamiookamiryuu ,

If I was celebrating 25 years with a boyfriend, my first thought would be what if we celebrated with an addition to the family (dog, kid, etc.)

robocall ,
@robocall@lemmy.world avatar

Would you take her shopping for an engagement ring together or just pick one out and surprise her?

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

I certainly did before. I pick out dresses or other clothing...I actually like shopping for clothes for her.

Rings need to fit so she needs to try them first. Also the rings I bought her before, even antique ones she does not wear anymore.

She does wear cheap necklaces and come to think of it, she has and does like tattoos.

voracitude ,

Tattoo the rings, problem solved! 😁

AtHeartEngineer ,
@AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world avatar

If you've been together for 25 years you practically are married, it's just paperwork at that point.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

We already call eachother husband and wife often. I guess it is not that important to us, but we joke sometimes about who will kneel first. Maybe we could make it something fun. It would be just a few people around though, nothing fancy.

AtHeartEngineer ,
@AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world avatar

Lol ya exactly, you could make it a ridiculous show of doing paperwork, like a comical version of doing your taxes (idk if you are in the US but our taxes can sometimes be crazy)

ickplant ,
@ickplant@lemmy.world avatar

In my state, you’d be considered common-law married. Might as well get married-married. If you both want it, that is.

archiduc ,

Think hospital: “Sorry, family only”. Do it before you need it.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

My catholic grandma from my mothers side had 14 kids, my protestant grandma from my dads side 7. I have a huge family, my girlfriend's family is jewish, and if you would bring them all together there will be some in a hospital lateron because a lot of them hate each other with a passion and not only for their religion.

It's complicated. My mom is horrible and violent, my dad and his girlfriend alcoholics, my girlfriends father a raging racist, and her mom died when she was only 16 and she lost contact.

So it would be a few dear and close friends. Nobody else, certainly not any family would ever know.

archiduc ,

Sorry maybe I wasn’t clear. I meant that sometimes hospital have a policy to not let you in to see or stay with your significant other if you are not a family member. If you are not married you are not family so they could refuse you seeing your partner in some situations.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

Ah I see what you mean now.

dingus ,

I mean it sounds lame and beurocratic af, but that paperwork does come in handy for medical and legal issues. Say one partner were to become incapacitated and medical decisions needed to be made on their behalf for example.

AtHeartEngineer ,
@AtHeartEngineer@lemmy.world avatar

Ya ya, definitely, you can get partnership agreement notarized that basically accomplished the same thing though

badcommandorfilename ,

My wife and I make anniversaries the time to do something, like dinner out or a weekend away or something instead of trying to buy gifts. After 25 years, you have probably bought each other our yourselves anything you actually need and you'll just start to accumulate objects.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

I believe you are right.

The thing is my girlfriend needs to drive anywhere and she has a demanding job, a spontaneous weekend trip is difficult. So best thing would be to plan a few weeks off around our anniversary. I think that is possible.

maltasoron ,

Random idea, but maybe you could offer to drive her around for a few days, so she can relax and you can spend some time together.

kindenough OP ,
kindenough avatar

The thing is I don’t have a drivers license, but thanks for the suggestion.

m0darn ,

Maybe you should secretly learn to drive and then take her on a surprise outing.

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